Jessica Pan: The Introvert's Guide to Socialising

In this episode, Jessica Pan discusses her book 'Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come' and her journey of embracing extroversion. As we discuss on the show, Jessica is almost the opposite to me – she’s an introvert who learnt to be more extraverted, whereas I started exploring Alonement as a means of dealing with my fear, as an extrovert, of being alone. She tells me about her journey to embrace solo travel, socialising with strangers and making new friends, all with the help of her 'extrovert mentors'. What this following episode touches on is the importance of balance and choice around how we spend our alone time, plus how learning to integrate more connection in your life can help you fall back in love with your solitude. We also touch on the loneliness of big cities, particularly London, and how Jessica has managed to curate her own tiny village within the UK capital. Jessica also talks about starting her Substack newsletter, It'll Be Fun, They Said, based on part-time job working in a local independent bookshop. Finally, she shares her favourite kinds of alone time, which involves reading by the ocean and journaling in a cafe.TakeawaysEmbracing alone time can be a luxurious and fulfilling experience when it is a choice.Working in a bookshop can be enchanting and provide opportunities for meaningful connections with customers.Journaling is a valuable tool for self-reflection and understanding one's thoughts and feelings.Solo travel can be challenging but can also provide opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery.Having extrovert mentors can provide guidance and support in navigating social situations.Chapters00:00Introduction and Background02:21Different Journeys, Same Goal03:42The Fluidity of Introversion and Extroversion04:10The Pleasure of Working in a Bookshop05:31Starting the Substack Newsletter06:30Choosing Pleasure and Storytelling08:25The Enchantment of Working in a Bookshop09:50The Joy of Working in a Bookshop10:46The Aspirational Lifestyle of Working in a Bookshop11:02Balancing Work and Alone Time12:57The Privilege and Prison of Being Alone13:57Choosing to Be Alone14:25The Nuance of Enjoying Alone Time15:24The Universal Loneliness Problem16:48The Counterintuitive Decision to Be an Extrovert17:18The Loneliness of Metropolitan Life19:10The Surprise Solo Travel Experience23:12The Challenges of Solo Travel25:08The Benefit of Extrovert Mentors32:50Favorite Extrovert Adventures36:36Gaining Compassion for Introverted Parts40:05Tips for Spending Time Alone45:27Appreciating Introverted Parts of Yourself46:26Creating a Village in the City49:21Curating a Community51:17Creating Connections52:15Favourite Alone TimeThank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device.You can follow Jessica Pan's Substack at jesspan.substack.com, and my own at francescaspecter.substack.com With a one-off payment of £5, you can listen to the Alonement podcast ad-free. https://plus.acast.com/s/alonement. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.