346 Dating Over 40 with Nina Jarnum, author of “F*ck Kissing Frogs”

It’s February, so what better time it is than to talk Love on Christopher Lochhead: Follow Your Different. Today, we have a fun one: a special dating episode for people over 40. And who better to talk about it than our guest, Nina Jarnum. Nina Jarnum is a lawyer-turned-Yogi-turned-popular writer, and she’s the author of a new book called, “F*ck Kissing Frogs”. And we had a blast talking about her book and the topic of dating over 40, as you’ll hear in just a bit. You’re listening to Christopher Lochhead: Follow Your Different. We are the real dialogue podcast for people with a different mind. So get your mind in a different place, and hey ho, let’s go. Nina Jarnum on Kissing Frogs Christopher jumps straight into it with the question of how many frogs do you have to kiss to find the one. Nina answers that if one is being smart about picking and dating, not as much as one would think. Nina recounts her experiences in online dating, starting off with the bad impressions and stigma that people say online dating has to offer. But for the most part, Nina did not encounter those issues and had fun with online dating; which got her curious why a lot of people had a bad impression of it. And so Nina asked her friends if she could check out their matches and update their profile, and some got better results from it soon after. Nina Jarnum’s Online Dating Tips for Women When asked about what is it that sets up a good profile from a bad one, Nina points out that having a good profile is like introducing yourself favorably to the other person. It’s a good way to share some information that shows what you are looking for in a person, but not so much that you’re sharing your life story. Another tip that Nina gives is to be mindful of your profile pictures. Aside from the usual things to avoid like hiding in group photos and such, Nina suggests having at least one full-body picture on it, so that people have an idea of who they are meeting, and it’s also a good visual treat. Nina also talks about avoiding using filters and other image-altering stuff in your profile, as it is a major turn-off for men to find out that they’re not meeting who they think they were supposed to meet based on the profile. “Don't put filter on your photos. Every man I have spoken to about this have been like, their pet peeve is turning up on a date and not being able to recognize the person is such a turnoff. I like comparing it to as a woman when you go on a date with a man and his profile says he's 6’5”, and he turns up and he's 5’7”. It's not cool.” – Nina Jarnum   Nina Jarnum on Dating Preferences and Honesty Following that line of thought, Nina adds that not only is it an awkward encounter at the very beginning of the date, it sets a bad impression and precedent right from the start that you are lying about something. She explains that while trying to appeal to the general consensus of what a “good-looking” guy or gal sounds seems like the way to go, the whole point of online dating is to find someone that likes you that you might also like, and not the other way around. That said, there will always be preferences on people that you like, but Nina suggests that you don’t overly limit yourself to those preferences, because you might be missing out. One common thing that she points out is about people’s height; as some would not even consider dating someone who is below a certain number. The point is, sampling out of your comfort zone is fine once in a while, especially if your current pool is not turning out the results that you want. You might end up finding that great date from someone you didn’t expect. To hear more from Nina Jarnum and more dating tips for people over 40, download and listen to this episode. Bio Nina Jarnum is a mother,