141: 5 Year Chip: What We've Learned in 5 Years of Addiction Recovery

Last week in our 12-step meeting, Neil picked up his 5 year chip for 5 years of abstinence (or sobriety) from his addiction to pornography. Our experience with addiction recovery is something we've shared openly for the past several years, and on this milestone birthday (that's what we call each year of sobriety in recovery) we felt like it would be a good time to revisit this topic and share some of the ways Neil got stopped, stayed stopped, and how he has found a new way of living instead of being weighed down by addiction. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, we hope today's episode will provide some answers and resources and hope. This week’s episode is sponsored by Ana Luisa Jewelry. Treat yourself and your loved ones to beautiful sustainable jewelry. Go to shop.analuisa.com/mintarrow and use code MINTARROW for 10% off.   Time Stamps: [00:00:42] - Neil celebrates 5 years of abstinence (or sobriety) from his addiction to pornography, and explains why the 24hr milestone is most important. [00:03:04] - Neil talks about the mindset behind maintaining a new lifestyle and spiritual fitness to not lose to the illusion of an endpoint. [00:05:46] - Corinne explains that seeing others gain new chips gave her hope. [00:07:04] - Neil gives his addiction background, starting with his exposure during adolescence. [00:09:01] - Neil talks about how ARP became a turning point in his story. [00:10:46] - Corinne and Neil candidly talk about the times where they were less hopeful of any change happening. [00:13:21] - The pain of the problem vs. The pain of the solution. [00:15:54] - What is a sponsor in a recovery program? [00:18:33] - Addiction is like pain management to become numb from the world. [00:20:36] - Listen to Neil explain how “contrary actions” help stop from being desensitized.  [00:22:39] - Neil explains why he calls another program member to reground himself. [00:25:20] - Here are the most basic methods of addressing a crisis or addiction. [00:27:51] - There are different meetings you can attend. Find one for you. [00:29:51] - What surprised Corinne about going to meetings? [00:32:18] - Corinne talks about how amazed she is during the 12-step meetings when people share their raw experiences. [00:34:53] - Hearing people speak from different points of their journey is humbling, and gives insight to each other. [00:36:53] - Neil talks about the mutual respect of understanding a shared experience, like an addiction. [00:38:38] - Corinne and Neil share their sides and thoughts of the last relapse Neil experienced. [00:40:43] - Neil talks through his thoughts on committing to abstinence, and how he helps himself maintain consistency. [00:43:29] - Corinne talks about managing her experience of being the spouse of someone dealing with addiction. [00:46:01] - How did Corinne let go of the pressure she was placing on herself during Neil’s journey? [00:48:53] - By being accountable individually, Corinne and Neil were able to empower each other. [00:50:43] - Neil says that things quiet down overtime, like neural pathways being stopped or redirected. [00:52:06] - Listen to Neil’s share from a 12-step meeting. [00:57:32] - What is the one message Neil gives to those dealing with addiction? What is the one message Corinne gives those with spouses managing drug addiction? [00:59:02] - Hold On. Pain Ends.   Supporting Resources: Find an Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) meeting in your area The ARP manual