191: How to Create Love-Based Boundaries with Henry Ammar

Henry Ammar is a Human Behavior and Subconscious Reprogramming Expert who hosts the Podcast, “Making It Happen with Henry Ammar.” The podcast has ranked #1 in the Training Category and #6 in the Education Category on the iTunes Charts. As a keynote speaker and empowerment and transformation expert, he has positively impacted people across the globe, speaking to audiences as big as 35,000+ people at a time. Henry is also published in Forbes. In his professional career, Henry began in music and has performed on a Grammy Award-winning album and traveled the world sharing the stage with legends. He has also overseen the investment and management of over $2 billion dollars in real estate. Recently Henry gave a TEDx talk entitled What Porcupines Teach Us About Boundaries, and as a follow-up I asked him if he would be willing to come on my podcast and further expound on his thoughts on this topic and he graciously agreed. It was honestly so good that we ended up splitting the episode into 2 parts - the second part is a Q&A so watch for that coming soon! And I hope you enjoy this episode as thoroughly as I did.   Time Stamps: [01:24] - How did Henry find his approach to boundaries? [03:56] - Henry explains the sweet spot of boundaries using the porcupine example.  [05:27] - What is the difference between Love-based boundaries vs Fear-based boundaries? Why is it important to discern the two? [08:19] - Henry explains the loving version of self-awareness. [10:53] - Why is it important to understand and communicate your values? PART 1 [13:24] - Why is it important to understand and communicate your values? PART 2 [15:07] - Be intentional about who has access to your inner circle. You don’t have to let everyone in. [17:44] - “You can’t fully give or receive love if you don’t feel safe.” [20:42] - Henry talks about triggers, dysregulation, and confrontation when setting boundaries. [23:47] - Stay present enough to communicate your boundaries so you can protect your best self. [25:34] - Listen to your feelings to ask yourself better questions about your boundaries. [28:15] - Does visualizing and rehearsing your boundaries help? PART 1 [30:05] - Does visualizing and rehearsing your boundaries help? PART 2 [31:46] - Henry shares the usual reactions people have to new boundaries and how to work through the resistance when it’s worth it. [34:26] - Sometimes people test your boundaries to see if you’re serious. [36:55] - Here are 3 FUNDAMENTALS to help your personal growth and boundaries. [39:35] - Henry describes the loop that people find themselves in and tips to break onto a new path. [42:17] - “Whatever you choose, I will be okay because now I’m doing the work for me.” [44:12] - Compassion and boundaries go together. [46:38] - What boundaries need to be set? [49:26] - Sometimes you need to excuse yourself. [51:08] - When do you know it’s time to put people in an outer circle? [53:49] - How can we deal with loved ones who do not manage their past traumas well? [55:24] - Boundaries are flexible. [57:43] - “There is absolute hope.” [59:31] - Henry closes the show by appreciating and recognizing Corinne and Neil.   Supporting Resources: Henry’s Ted Talk on boundaries Henry’s IG @henryammar Website Henry’s podcast “Making it Happen with Henry Ammar”