201: The Gift of Forgiveness

This episode is one we've talked about literally for years, but it hasn't felt right until now. Over the past nearly 4 years, Neil has walked a difficult path through grief and trauma of losing his only full-living-brother to a homicide in January of 2019. The past couple of years have been especially difficult as he's tried to work through and cope with the anger part of grief, but has recently really found more closure and truly readiness to forgive. So that's what we're talking about today, the journey of finding and offering forgiveness to those who have wronged us, and how Neil was able to get there. We're also talking about how this can apply to anyone's life circumstances, even if there's not a situation in your life that demands the same level of forgiveness, and how offering forgiveness is ultimately a gift to yourself.   This week’s episode is brought to you by Troomi Wireless, the safe phone that grows with your kids. Use code MINTARROW for $50 off the purchase of any Troomi device! Visit shop.troomi.com to order your phone.   This week’s episode is also brought to you by Abide. The #1 Christian Meditation App that’s proven to reduce stress, improve sleep, and deepen your experience with the peace of God! Text promo code MINTARROW to 22433 to get 25% off your first year when you sign up for a premium Abide subscription.   Time Stamps: [01:00] - “Finding healing and forgiveness.” [2:55] - Neil mentions the delayed reaction of grief. [04:31] - It can feel frustrating to not understand why traumatic experiences happened. Is there any peace to be found? [07:07] - What happens when sadness is followed by anger?  [09:51] - There’s usually a deeper emotion beneath anger. [12:50] - Corrine commends the internal work Neil did over the years with his grief. [15:17] - Forgiveness is a gift to those around you, and most importantly, to yourself. [17:02] - Sometimes forgiveness is not instant despite knowing and believing in the power of forgiveness. [19:13] - Keep your heart open to the idea of forgiveness. [21:27] - “It’s time to forgive and move past it.” [23:50] - If you had to present forgiveness years after a traumatic event, could you do it? PART 1 [26:09] - If you had to present forgiveness years after a traumatic event, could you do it? PART 2 [28:41] - How did Neil start to work on his grief? [31:24] - Seeing others in the way that God sees them can open a path of compassion. [34:11] - “I forgive you.”  [36:52] - Neil reflects on the difference between the start of his grief and the closure of this point in his journey. [38:21] - The same forgiveness that was extended to you should be extended to others. [41:01] - We all experience moments that test our forgiveness. [43:52] - Corrine discusses the realistic inner work around letting go of the need to judge or keep score of wrongdoings. [46:43] - “Let the atonement of Jesus Christ take over.“ [49:03] - Neil talks about entering new levels of forgiveness throughout his journey.  [50:56] - There’s no set formula or timeframe that tells you how to forgive. Everyone’s progression is different. [53:17] - The story of “Forgiveness Flour” for your bread. [55:28] - When Christ is the negotiator and mediator, it’s all perfect. [57:37] - Why is it so important for us to embrace forgiveness? [59:24] - You come out better on the other side. You become free.   Supporting Resources: “On Measuring Flour and Forgiveness” Talk by Madison U. Sowell “The Power of Spiritual Momentum” Talk by Russell M. Nelson