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I know he's around here somewhere…. SUPACREE walks briskly into the night gripping lol wat rave weapon is that. THIS is NOt a RAVE WEAPON. *hangs head shamefully* Ugh, I don't wanna write this. So don't then. But you already But i already did fuck. SUPACREE shoots DILLON FRANCIS 3 TIMES. w0ah. What the fuck! YO. Okay Look: Whenever you see a Dillon Francis–shoot that motherfucker. Ok. DILLON FRANCIS “OK?!” Ok. THIs is a shoot-to-kill order. Wow. I respect that. But how do we know which Dillon Francis it is? What if it's not the right one. They're all “the right one”. Fuck dude, we're fucked. I wouldn't say that… Wait, HOld on. Wouldn't they all be SUPACREE/ DILLON FRANCIS. What. WAIT, WOULDN'T THEY ALL BE Don't say it. I don't wanna do this anymore. Ok. So don't. Ok bye. *literally never returns* Ever? *NEVER* NEver Ever?! NEvEr EVVErRRRR. Oh. damn that sux. lame. Oh I get it. They're all Skrillex. Huh. If i'm Skrillex. I am Skrillex. And you're Skrillex. You are Skrillex. Oh no. And Everything is Skrillex. Everything is Skrillex. F– *dissipates into CUT TO: OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING. fuck , what was that thing that looked like a [Incomprehensibly scary monsters] *cities screaming and running in chaos and terrifying horror *death and destruction of entire galaxies* That's just Skrillex. I'm gonna die like this, right. *dude in hat and sunglasses* Fame is like a drug, [kid]… Is this a trailer As soon as you get a little taste of it, you want more Why would they do this. i like it. Why would I ever agree to do something like this? DIE I want to talk to my agent. Ok. *phone rings* Hello. UGHHHHHH. Wait a minute. No. Let me explain… Why is Dillon Francis Dillon Francis. Ugh. I don't know. I don't know how he does that. It's ergonomically and economically impossible A phenomenon con commas and apostrophes on amazon's apostle For your appreciation and consideration for pronunciation of this marvel I would say a “superstar” But a star's like a marble; (Comical; ) [and small] To Our [God] [though] This comic started as an oracle Then blossomed to an article, From a particle (To a saga) Smart [Water], but to New Yorkers: “Something's wrong with her.” What! I'm just hungry I skipped lunch, then skipped rope lifted some shit, then did crunches, skipped dinner and dipped Driftin in and out of consciousness on the bus, Suss as fuck in my sunglasses, And mask up. UGH. UGH. UGH. Now, for breakfast, An egg McMuffin, or better yet, a Jimmy Fallon, With nothin on it– What is that. Comin right up! Better yet, I had it. No you didn't. I did, i had it. MAN FUCK MANHATTAN It's. A. Hole. UGH. I TOLD YOU. [baked] You know what though. Hmm. A jimmy fallon sounds hella good right now, though. Mm. doesn't it. We should go get one. We should. Lol. >< >< RAVEN// and SUPACREE// roll up to the MCDONALDS DRIVE THRU ///-PORTAL-/// Portal. Portal. Oh, look, a portal. *snickering WELCOME TO MCDONALDS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER. Do they really still say that though. Didn't they always say that at McDonalds. They say that everywhere. It varies. WELCOME TO MCDONALDS; MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER That sounds corny. YEah, that sounds weird. WELCOME TO MCDONALDS WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU? *snickering stonily* Uh, yeah, can I get. *snickering intolerably* MCDONALDS WORKER (on screen) . . . MCDONALDS WORKER (inside, waiting for order) [literally smoking blunt] –Can I get a –Two– TWO JImmy Fallons MCDONALDS WORKER …Ok. *snickering/laughing whispered* “OK?!” He said “OK!” [An order for two Jimmy Fallons appears onto the screen; silencing their laughter abruptly. *gasp* [still mad stoned] [suddenly sober] *wtf* MCDONALDS WORKER Anything else? Uhhhh– …. Make that three. [The order changes to three Jimmy Fallons] … MCDONALDS WORKER Ok. Anything else. *eyes* Uh–make them combos! MCDONALDS WORKER Alright–anything else? …depends, what's my total. MCDONALDS WOKER … I'll have your total at the first window. “The first window?” PLease full forward. OK. wait what the fuck. what . I feel a song comin' on. Oh God… His eyes are red and filled with fire To match my heart and my desire “I'm unremarkable, honestly”, with regards to your Honor I just wanna work harder, So why won't you hire me Work smarter, Not harder Go home, Or Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnd, it's gone. God dammit, God! WHAT. WHAT DO YOU WANT. Of all the cosmos, and all the Galaxies I AM THE COSMOS AND THE GALAXIES You HAD to PICK mY R0Ck! I AM THE ROCK. CUT TO: THE ROCK A.K.A. DWAYNE JOHNSON [looking in mirror] I'm a God. Let us look just a little bit closer at this *planet* –specimen. [Absolute Crisis, Panic, and Chaos] It appears to be uninhabited. WHAT. No intelligent life. Are you kidding me. Wow. Really, God. Whatsoever. Atheists: See. Told you. Others: No, you were wrong. Other Others: There is a “God” He just She just “Doesn't like us.” I don't like it. But it's. *flatline* Turn it off. Turn it OFF? Turn it off. *flatline* This is no ordinary McDonalds. What McDonalds is ordinary?! All of them. They're ALL MAGICAL. M A G I C A L? *stoney seriousness* MCDONALDS WORKER *stoney nonchalonce* … … … Yo. Yo What's the total. Alright, so that's– –! –...?? –Three Jimmy Fallon combos– Yes That is correct. –Regular or Large? …You didn't ask that before. Large. What–there's no small? No. LArge Large. *Presses one button* $17.65 Like Seventeen Dollars? Like $17.65. *whispering amongst eachother* Oh, that's cheap. That's mad cheap! Ahem. I'm irrational but passionate Attention span is as short as Skrillex But at least My wingspan's been extended a couple inches With Dillon's dick in my hand that's random and a half, A bad habit I have Magic: rabbits and hats Fuck it, manhattan: lets go halfs on a pad Like mom and a dad on roll random with danny phantom Finally ALRIGHT, YO: FUCK JIMMY FALLON FUCK TIMMY TURNER AND FUCK DILLON FRANCIS. CUT TO: Walks In WOAH. Sorry! WOAH, GROSS. [Walks out] I didnot mean that literally. Well, that's his power, so– What. That's the way it works. Wait. I'm not waiting. Dillon Francis actually has magic. Everyone has magic. –I mean like,actual magic. Oh. Then yes. [Kill Bill Theme, but weird and strange.] “Kill Dill” LAME. Lame. Lol. First of all, hold up a minute. PLEASE PULL FORWARD. …dude. Wtf. What did we just order. I don't know. How could they know about a “Jimmy Fallon” I know. I made it up! I know, i was there PLEASE PULL FORWARD. Pull forward! Pull forward! Do you think it's a joke? I don't know. Pullforward! OK. Do you think– I don't know! That'll be $17.65 Order something else! Uh– Order a– You do it! Fine! UH– *doesn't care* I'd like to add to my order. Ok. Alright. I'll add… Don't do it. One Skrillex Deluxe. You're so stupid– Sorry. We're out. [3 Years and 46,000 bananas later.] What. What do you mean “out” We're not currently serving Deluxes at this time. Whattime is it. “At this time” What time is it? We ran out of sauce. Oh. Oh. So two JImmy Fallon Meals– Large– Yes. Yeah. Is that all. Yes. Yes. That'll $17.65 Here you go. *the mcdonald worker inserts the card into an interesting looking chip reader, then produces a receipt and hands back the card, emotionlessly* Thank you, please pull forward. Again?! How many windows are there? *breaking 4th wall* a lot. Uh… ok Did he break 4th wall What “forth wall” IT's mcDoNaALDS. PLease pull forward. Ok. Maybe he watches our show. Like 5 people watch our show! MAybe he's one of them. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©