TVL BONUS EPISODE: Postpartum with Crystal Nightingale

Crystal Nightingale is The Mama Coach. Her mission is “to guide families through every stage of their parenting journey by providing evidence-informed education infused with nonjudgmental support, compassion, and empathy.” Crystal chats with Meagan today about some of the many resources available to women who are in the postpartum stages of motherhood. While we spend a lot of time preparing for our births, we sometimes don’t know how to really prepare for postpartum. Crystal talks about how to recognize postpartum depression, preparing for going back to work, tips on birth control after a baby, and lactation advice. We are so thankful for the work Crystal does to help families thrive with their new babies!Additional LinksCrystal’s Website - The Mama CoachPostpartum Support InternationalThe Lactation NetworkNeeded WebsiteHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details Meagan: Hello, hello you guys. You are listening to The VBAC Link and I am with my friend today, Crystal. Crystal Nightingale is with The Mama Coach. Right? I’m saying that correctly. She’s amazing. I feel like we connected on social media and I just madly fell in love with her. I feel like I could talk to her for hours postpartum and just the journey of what things look like after we have our babies. It’s a topic that we don’t talk about enough in today’s world and honestly, it’s a topic that isn’t focused on. It’s not only not talked about, but it’s not focused on, in my opinion, enough. We have babies and are told to come back six weeks later but a whole load of things happen in that six-week period. There are things from recovering from birth and sometimes we have different types of birth. Maybe we had an easy birth and that’s super great, but sometimes we have a C-section or a vaginal or an assisted vaginal and we have extra tearing. Maybe we’re having a really hard lactation journey and feeding our babies emotionally. There is so much that is packed into postpartum and we just don’t put enough focus on it, in my opinion, in the medical world. So today’s episode is with Crystal and she’s going to be talking more about postpartum. What does it look like? What to expect? All of the things. We’re diving deep into it. We’re going to be talking about baby blues and postpartum and mood disorders and hormonal dips and lactation and when it’s okay to not be okay and when it’s okay to ask for help. Just all of the things, so stick with us today. It’s going to be a really, really great episode learning more about what to expect in that postpartum experience. Review of the WeekWe have a Review of the Week as usual. Just a reminder if you guys have not had a chance to leave a review, we would love for you to do so. You can do that on Apple Podcasts. You can do that– I actually don’t know if you can do it on Spotify but we are on Spotify. You can do it on Google. Just Google “The VBAC Link”. Find us and leave a review there. Wherever you leave a review, we would just love it and you never know, it might be read next on the podcast. Today’s review is actually from Google and it’s from Elizabeth Garcia. She says, “As a birth doula and mom, I am always referring clients for information to The VBAC Link. For incredible VBAC stories to lift my VBAC clients up and make them know that there are others who have successfully VBAC’d and for advice, information, and statistics, I always turn to The VBAC Link.”Thank you, Elizabeth or Beth, if you go by Beth, for your sweet review. Again, as always, we love your reviews and would appreciate them on any platform that you want to leave them on. Crystal NightingaleMeagan: Okay, cute Crystal. Hi. Welcome to the show. Crystal: Hi Meagan. Thanks for having me. I’m excited to be here. Meagan: Oh my gosh. I’m excited for you to be here. Like I was saying in the intro, you probably know more than I do. We don’t talk about this. There are so many things that I didn’t even know about in postpartum, how our hormones shift and what to look for and I’ve had three kids. Truly, I have not even been informed and I have had three kids so I’m really excited to dive into this with you today. Crystal: Yes, awesome. I know. Like you said, we have all of this attention during the pregnancy and we have all of these appointments and all of this kind of stuff, all of this information and resources, but then when you have your baby, it’s like, “Okay, bye. Take care of yourself and your baby. Make sure you sleep.” Meagan: Yeah. Make sure you sleep. You’re like, “How do I do that again when I have a baby waking up every 2-4 hours?” Crystal: Yeah and then most women don’t have their first postpartum appointment until six weeks and it’s like, oh my gosh. Where is the support for those first six weeks or even beyond? Because postpartum doesn’t last just six weeks. I’ve read somewhere– I can’t state the source because I don’t remember, but it can last up to a year after giving birth. The way I look at it is, okay. You’ve been pregnant for about 9-10 months or so and all of that time, your hormones were increasing and your body was changing. In my opinion, it will take at least that long to fully recover as well. Meagan: Absolutely. It’s kind of interesting that you say that because with my first, my oldest daughter who just turned 12. I’m thinking of when this episode is coming out. She’ll be 12 in a week. Crystal: Oh my gosh. Meagan: I know. It’s so crazy to me. But I was 11 months postpartum with her. I had gone back to work when she was 3 months old. I had been working and things were pretty good, then I had some struggle with my lactation with my supply and was doing things to try and get it back. I just felt a shift in my whole self. I went in at 11 months postop because my husband was like, “I think you should talk to somebody.” I didn’t really know anyone to talk to so I just went to my OB. My OB said, “You have postpartum depression.” I said, “No, I don’t. I am really far out from postpartum now,” because, in my head, almost a year was really far out. He said, “No. You have postpartum depression. This is postpartum depression.” I literally looked at him and my jaw opened and I said, “I think you’re crazy.” He said, “Nope. This is postpartum depression.” We talked about it and I was like, “What?” So I called my husband and I said, “Hon, even though I am almost a year, he said I could still have this. I have this. These are the things we talked about on how to work through it.” I just could not in my mind believe him. I really could not believe that I had postpartum depression. I think one, I didn’t want to admit it. We have a negative stigma around the word “depression”.Crystal: There’s a stigma, yeah. Meagan: With just depression, it’s like, “No, no. I’m not depressed. Don’t say that. Don’t put that diagnosis on me.” Truly, I was scared of that and didn’t want to admit it, but then I was like, “No. I am not a few months after birth. I am almost a year out.” So it’s interesting that you just said that because I was actually told that at 11 months postpartum. Crystal: Yeah. It’s crazy. Like I said, with all of the hormones running rampant during pregnancy, then it’s the same afterward. There’s a hormonal shift right after delivery, during breastfeeding, and if you stop breastfeeding, there’s a hormonal shift as well. Then going back to work has all of these different emotions. It’s just an emotional rollercoaster. Meagan: It really is. I think that is what was happening. I was shifting a little bit within my milk and then I was maybe deciding on not working, then there was a lot of pressure on where my daughter was. There was so much going on. I had those hormonal shifts, but I didn’t realize they were happening. I didn’t recognize them. So yeah. Let’s just dive into that. Postpartum– things to expect as a postpartum mom both physically and emotionally. What are things that we could just automatically expect to happen? Crystal: All the emotions. Meagan: All the emotions. Crystal: There is a big drop of estrogen after you deliver and that increases prolactin hormones which help with milk supply and then there is just the initial recovery. So if you delivered vaginally, you may or may not have had any tears and there are different degrees of tears. I know you are more familiar with that kind of stuff and how to prevent it with perineal massage and things like that. It’s funny because some people think, “Oh, I’m going to have a big baby,” or whatever they tell you that your baby is going to be big or small, but there is a misconception that if your baby is big, then you’re going to tear. You’re just going to tear, but some women don’t tear and they have 10 pounds but other women tear and they have a 6-pound baby. Meagan: Yep. Crystal: It can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter how big or small your baby is. That’s the immediate recovery from any tears. Of course, you want to to sitz baths. They have the dermaplast spray to help with pain and things like that. Bleeding, if you had a C-section, you will still bleed. Maybe not as long as a vaginal delivery, but bleeding can last anywhere from a few weeks up to 8 weeks so that’s totally normal. Some women are like, “Oh my gosh. Why am I bleeding still?” It’s totally normal for all of that. Meagan: Yeah. The wound of our placenta, we have that on our uterus so we can bleed. We can bleed shorter sometimes or longer sometimes. Crystal: Right. Yeah, and it is a wound which is why it’s not recommended to have any sexual intercourse until at least six weeks. Even when your doctor “clears you”, you still may not be ready. You’re exhausted. You feel touched out, so it’s totally okay to be open with your partner on how you’re feeling in regards to that, but you definitely want to wait at least six weeks for sexual intercourse. And then of course, have a plan for birth control because you are most likely more fertile right after you’ve given birth. Speaking of breastfeeding, there is a family planning method called Lactational Amenorrhea Method and there are three criteria to this. You should be less than six months postpartum. You should be exclusively breastfeeding and not have started your period. With those three combined, you can usually use exclusive breastfeeding as a type of birth control. It’s just crazy. You do have to be exclusively breastfeeding though. That’s the really big key thing. If you’re giving bottles here and there, I believe the CDC I think it was said, “If you’re exclusively breastfeeding and not going more than four hours in between feedings, it’s a good family planning method.”Meagan: I’ve never even heard of this. When I saw it on the list, I was like, “What is that?” I had no idea. Crystal: Yeah. Yeah, it’s crazy. It’s just because while you’re breastfeeding, a particular hormone is lower than usual. It suppresses ovulation and that’s why a lot of women who are exclusively breastfeeding don’t even have their periods until months down the line. Meagan: Yeah, we had a question like that on one of the Thursday questions. When is it normal for people to have their period return? I’m like, “It really just depends. It totally depends.” Crystal: Yeah. Yeah. It could be a couple of months after birth, or like I said, if you are exclusively breastfeeding, it could take a little bit longer. Meagan: Yeah, so talking about hormones and all of this, I have been blown away to see recently that we have providers– if you’re in Utah anyway, this is happening– that literally right after birth, they are saying, “Hey, we can put your Mirena IUD in right now.” Crystal: Oh my gosh. Meagan: What?! My mind was blown. I was like, “Hold on.” They left and I was like, “Let’s talk about this. Let’s talk about placing a Mirena IUD the second you have your baby.” Crystal: I know. Meagan: What? No. I mean, for me, I was passionate about it because my IUD was actually placed too early with my second. My cervix hadn’t completely “hardened”. It hadn’t recovered completely and so it was too soft. It ended up floating up and protruding through my uterus going towards my lung. Crystal: Oh my gosh. Meagan: I was specifically told, “It’s because you got it too early.” I’m like, okay. So that was one thing. But hormonally, why are we giving birth control hours and days after we have a baby? So that is something that is happening. Have you ever seen that? Crystal: That is so crazy to me too, yeah. I have. I have. Meagan: Like what? Crystal: Yeah. Literally right after the placenta is expelled–Meagan: “Well, let’s place your IUD right now.” Crystal: Yeah, we’ll just place it. I’m like, first of all, that’s a big wound. Why are you putting something in there? It needs to recover and two, like you said, the hormone stuff. I mean, yes. Mirena or progestin-only birth control is the recommended birth control to use if you are breastfeeding, but still, this is a very vulnerable time. Meagan: Very. Crystal: I say, if you can, wait until you establish your milk supply so that way you have an abundant, well-established supply because you may experience a dip in your milk supply with any type of birth control. It will be easier to bounce back if your milk supply is established. Make sure you are knowledgeable and know what to do and you are informed and educated on it, but yes. I have seen that many, many, many times. I cringe when I see it. I’m like, “Oh my gosh.” But you know, what can you do? The OB offers it. Moms feel like, “Oh yeah. Let’s just do it. Might as well,” but they are not given all of the facts and are not informed. It’s so crazy.Meagan: I know. I just couldn’t believe it. I could not believe it when I saw that. Also too, we want to know who we are and where we are. We’re already dealing with so many hormonal shifts emotionally and then getting breastfeeding established and things like that. Why are we adding? I don’t know. It wasn’t my thing, but I was just shocked to see that. I was shocked to see that that was happening. Like you said, it can impact the milk supply. By the way, listeners, Crystal is also with The Lactation Network, our sponsor, which is super exciting to find out about. She is really skilled in lactation and things like that. Is that something that can impact our milk before we even establish our milk?Crystal: Yeah, it can. I can’t say always, right? But yes. I’ve definitely seen it impacted. It can take a little bit longer for milk supply to be established if you’ve got the Mirena or started the birth control early on. Like I said, the recommended hormonal birth control is something with progestin-only or progesterone only and no estrogen. But I have seen some women’s milk supply impacted by the recommended one. I always say, of course, birth control, yes, is there and it’s good but if you do plan to breastfeed, at least know that it may be impacted. Be educated on how you can, I guess, counteract that dip. Frequent and effective removal of milk, staying hydrated, having good nutrition, and eating lots of leafy greens and protein and iron are going to help with that. Meagan: I agree. If we can’t get it in through food and nutrients, it’s okay to supplement and get vitamins and things like that. We highly suggest Needed but getting the nutrients your body needs and understanding that you’re going through a lot so if you can’t eat that, supplement with that so your body can still have those nutrients. Crystal: Yeah, for sure. I mean, we are recovering ourselves as well as trying to take care of a new baby and maybe even breastfeeding that baby if you’re planning to breastfeed so for sure. You lose some blood during delivery whether it’s vaginal or C-section and you know, maybe there’s even a complication where you hemorrhaged so now you’ve lost a lot of blood and you need some iron supplements. So a prenatal vitamin for sure especially if you’re breastfeeding and then like you said, if you’re unable to eat– most of us, at least I can speak for myself, don’t get all of the nutrients that I need through food. Meagan: We don’t. We don’t. It’s so hard. Crystal: It is. It’s very hard. Either you’re on one side of the spectrum. You’re either famished because you’re breastfeeding and you want to eat all of the time or you have a lack of appetite. I always recommend for moms if they have a loss of appetite, maybe do a smoothie or a protein shake or something like that. Little snacks throughout the day or a protein bar, nuts, seeds, and things like that. A lack of appetite is a sign of postpartum depression or a postpartum mood disorder. Baby blues versus postpartum depression is pretty similar. Baby blues is basically a temporary, short feeling of that initial postpartum period where you’re exhausted. You’re stressed. You’re anxious. “Am I doing this right for my baby? Is my baby getting enough? I’m tired. Oh my gosh. We’ve got a new routine going on.” Those are baby blues. It’s short, maybe a week or two and you’re able to move on. But if it lasts longer than that and includes other signs such as a lack of appetite, excessive worrying, lack of sleep– I mean, of course. New mothers are already sleep-deprived but if you are just so–Meagan: Really unable. Crystal: Unable and you can’t sleep even when the baby is sleeping, then those are definitely signs of postpartum depression and you for sure want to reach out to your OB at the least or whatever psychiatric resources your insurance plan has, you want to reach out to them. Of course, online there is a lot of stuff and resources for that. Like you said, it can show up at 11 months postpartum so always be aware of that. And then for the partners, just make sure that they are aware of those things because they may see it first before you realize it yourself. Meagan: Yeah. Exactly. That’s what I was just going to say. Yeah, at 11 months is when I really willingly addressed it and recognized it deeper myself, but looking back, I think that it started way further. It just kept getting deeper so going back to baby blues, maybe I was like, “Oh, these are baby blues.” Nursing was really hard for me. I didn’t have the opportunity to have as skilled of an IBCLC. As we know, insurance doesn’t cover that a lot. We were young and didn’t have the best jobs in the world so we didn’t really have things like The Lactation Network to work with our insurance and support. Crystal: Right. Right. You couldn’t afford it.Meagan: So it was really just trying to figure it out. I had the IBCLC in the hospital and things like that, but not on a deeper level so that was really hard for me. Then it was the stress of work and the thought of how I was going to juggle it all. Then it was back to work. Then I was really struggling when my mother-in-law accidentally spilled over my hard-work-pumped milk for my baby for that day. If I look back at all of the things, I actually had a lot of these signs, but I didn’t really chalk it up to anything other than, “I’m a new mom.” I think that’s where we can go wrong. There are so many times where it’s like, “Of course I’m tired. I have a baby that wakes up every couple of hours. Of course I’m sore. It’s because I just had a C-section. Of course I’m this. Of course I’m stressed,” but like you said, if this is continuing, that’s where we need to reach out. Crystal: Yeah, and there are a lot of resources out there. Like I said, the first thing would be to reach out to your own provider whether it’s your general practitioner or your OB. Someone who can point you in the right direction or give you some of the resources for that. Yeah, so speaking of that, our own maternal struggles, also the partner struggles. I talk to dads and a lot of the time, they’re like, “Oh my god, I feel bad. She’s trying so hard and I’m trying to do what I can.” It’s stressful for the partners as well. Meagan: Absolutely. Crystal: Seeing your other half struggle because they really want to breastfeed or struggling with postpartum depression. Partners will ask me, “How can I help?” so I give them tips like, okay. If mom is breastfeeding or doing newborn care or anything like that, try to make the meal for her. Help with the other kids or say, “Hey, why don’t you go take a bath?” because as moms, we just neglect ourselves. I always say, “Make sure she has snacks.” Of course, water and food are probably the biggest things especially immediately postpartum for recovery for ourselves and to nourish our body so we can nourish the baby. But yeah, we should acknowledge that and like I said, obviously, I can’t speak for all moms, but for me, I didn’t realize and acknowledge all of the things that my partner was doing. The partners can also experience some postpartum anxiety and postpartum depression. Meagan: They really can. I was just going to say that I didn’t have the mental space to recognize what my husband was and wasn’t doing and where he was emotionally. It wasn’t until I wanted to VBAC with my second, my VBAC after two C-sections, that I realized that he had some trauma and some things that he had been dealing with based on things that he had said. It was like, “Oh, okay.” So it’s kind of interesting, but I wasn’t in that space because I was so focused on my baby that I couldn’t even focus on myself or my husband. Crystal: Of course. Right, yeah. Yeah. As mothers, it’s instinctual. Of course, we have our baby. We have to protect it and we have to do everything for it but then also we neglect ourselves and inadvertently everyone else around us. But it’s good to acknowledge and even just a “thank you” to the partner like, “Hey, I’m so sorry. I’m just really tired. Blah blah blah. Thank you for what you’re doing and supporting our family.” Meagan: And coming up with a plan. I think communication is really big and it’s really hard for us to say, “I’m not okay,” but it’s okay to not be okay or feel okay. There would be times where I would just be tearful. I didn’t even know why. He would be like, “What’s wrong?” I would be like, “I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t have anything where I can say this or that.” It got to the point where you have to communicate and say, “I’m not okay” or “I need help today” or “What can I do for you today? I’m feeling really good. You seem like you’re stressed. What can I do for you today?” Right? It’s hard because again, we’re not in that space. We’re already taking care of a baby. We can’t take care of another human, but they are taking care of the other kids and the dinners and they’re still trying to help so sometimes just asking, “Hey, I’m doing good today. I’m just doing a quick check-in. How are you? If you’re not okay, how can I help you?” or “Hey, “I’m not doing well today. Is there any way I can get help with this?” Or if they can’t do it because they are tapped out, talk about it. Come up with a plan. Maybe it’s lactation help. Maybe it’s going to a therapist. Maybe it’s having a cleaner come in and clean your house because looking at it is creating anxiety for everything that’s going on. We don’t want a dirty house with a new baby and all of these things. So communicating and really having that full openness is going to impact our postpartum and the way things are with our spouse and our loved ones. Crystal: Yes. I totally agree. Communication is key. I really believe that preparing for the postpartum period before we get there is key too. Meagan: 100%. Crystal: Yes. That well-known saying, “It takes a village,” I say, try to start forming your village before you deliver. Look up different mom groups if you don’t have family. Of course, family and friends that are near you will be the best because you feel more comfortable asking. It’s pretty hard for us to ask for help. Meagan: It is. Crystal: But it should hopefully be easier with family and close friends so if you can establish that village beforehand before it gets really bad, then you have those resources already. Or, like I said, if you don’t have family or friends close by– like for me, I was in the military and I had my second baby while I was away from all of my family– try to find resources in your county or your community or even online mom groups like The VBAC Link and support groups like that where you can even just vent and type out, “I’m so tired.” Whatever you are feeling, there are just so many supportive women, not only women but supportive people out there who are willing to be an ear or try to put you in the right direction or even point out things like, “Hey, it sounds like you maybe need to reach out to somebody. Please do,” and this kind of stuff. Meagan: Absolutely. We've been talking about that a lot lately how we’re doing so much to prep for the birth and during pregnancy and all of these things, but then we do forget about the postpartum and really, during our prep for birth, we also need to be prepping for that postpartum period. Crystal: For sure. Meagan: That includes finding your village and getting a meal train organized. Truly, meal trains are amazing. If you want to breastfeed or whatever, I would think even if you are not planning on breastfeeding, it’s good to talk to a lactation consultant. Get in touch with The Lactation Network beforehand. Understand your resources and your groups. PSI, postpartum support international, is really great. Resources as well– being familiar with those pages, going and looking at those professionals, understanding, and having a relationship so it doesn’t come to five weeks postpartum and think you need help but now it feels really overwhelming to find that village. Crystal: Yes. Right, right. Meagan: Right? It’s very overwhelming so if we can just have our village in play, then they’re available. We have them on our list. “Oh, here’s my lactation help. Here’s my postpartum help. Here’s my favorite group to vent and get it out because I know I’m going to be validated and feel love in this group.” Crystal: Yes.Meagan: Whatever it may be, do it beforehand. Do it before. Crystal: Yes, yes. I wish I did that before too with my older kids because like you were saying earlier, we were young. I didn’t know. I was naive. I was 20 and I’m just like, “Okay. I don’t know what I’m doing.”Meagan: I’m just going to have a baby. That’s what people do. They show up and have babies then they go off. They know how to nurse and they know how to help. They understand what is going on with their body and how to recover and get those nutrients and fuel our brains. No. Guess what? I didn’t know any of that, you guys. Crystal: I didn’t either. I did not either. Meagan: I wish I did. I wish I did and that’s why we’re here talking to you today. Even if it’s baby number two and you didn’t do it with your first, it’s not too late to create your village beforehand for birth and postpartum. Crystal: Totally. Meagan: Those might be two different villages, just fyi. Crystal: True. That’s a good point. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Speaking of postpartum, parents need to also keep in mind that things can change. We have our birth plan. Okay, we’re going to breastfeed. We’re just going to pump or however you choose to feed your baby but unfortunately, things can happen that are unexpected things. Complications or issues with milk supply or baby not even wanting to take a bottle, having a bottle refusal or breast strike so just being flexible and like you said, knowing where you can turn to for help like, “Okay. I’m having this issue. I’m going to reach out to my lactation consultant” or “I need some extra help with meals or cleaning.” Like you said, now that I know everything that I know, I wish somebody would have told me– you know how we do our birth registry– that we don’t need a lot of those things that we put on there. What we need are meal trains and if you have family or friends, someone who can take turns once a week to come in and cool a meal for you or just help you clean up or even a postpartum doula. Meagan: Yes. Crystal: Money for that would be great. Way back when, we didn’t have all of this different equipment for the babies and we did just fine without it. Meagan: Yep. Yep. Yeah. There are so many details to figure out. If you really think about it, it’s why it makes so much sense to do it beforehand because we’re tired. We’re sore. We’re recovering. We’re overwhelmed already. You guys, I don’t know. This is my personality. If I’m overwhelmed, I’ll just ignore it. I’m like, “I’ll just get to it later.” Then it never happens and I suffer because I never did it. Crystal: Yep, exactly. Meagan: Honestly, you guys, if it’s overwhelming– say that right now you’re listening and you’re 3 months postpartum and you’re like, “Oh gosh. Yep. Everything these guys are saying, I need help,” delegate. That’s okay. Tell someone. Tell your mom or your friend, “Hey. I need help. This is where I’m at. Is there any way you can help me find these resources?” In the show notes below, we are going to have some resources. We’ll have The Mama Coach. We’ll have The Lactation Network. We’re going to have PSI. We’re going to make it easy for you right here too, but it’s okay to delegate and say, “Hey, I’m not in a space that I can find this.” Wish you woulda, shoulda, coulda, you can’t go back and dwell on it. Let’s get help now. Delegate someone to find you or even send them this resource and say, “Can you reach out to these links?” Crystal: Yeah, because that’s a lot of time too going through these different resources and contacting them or navigating their websites to find the specific information you need. It takes a lot of time and the next thing you know, an hour goes by and you’re like, “Oh my gosh, I could have taken a nap. Now the baby’s up.”Meagan: Exactly, yeah. Send them this podcast. There will be all of the links in the show notes for all of the things that we are talking about including nutrients that your body needs and resources so we can hopefully try to make it easier for you. Crystal: Yes, for sure. Yes. As a Mama Coach, we have Mama Coaches all around the U.S. and even all around the world. Most of us do provide postpartum hourly care similar to a postpartum doula. We could do it even virtually, virtual postpartum care. If you need help with how to birth your newborn or just with help around the house. If you need someone to watch your baby while you take a nap, the Mama Coach has a lot of services as well. Like you said, it will be in the show notes but definitely reach out. If I can’t help you, I can definitely point you in the right direction or connect you with another Mama Coach or resource, whatever that can hopefully help support you. Meagan: Yeah. Do you know what I wish I had you for? Helping me know how to return to work. Crystal: Ah, yes. That’s a big one. Meagan: It was a really big, daunting task. I remember just trying to look online, how to figure out, what a good schedule is, if I wanted to pump, what a good schedule for pumping was based off of my specific work schedule, and things like that. Crystal: Yeah. Meagan: I know you guys can help with that. Just a few tips that you can give our listeners if they are planning on returning to work. Crystal: Yes. I always say to try to start planning for your return to work at least a month before you plan to return to work. If you are breastfeeding, say you are postpartum and going along, you are exclusively breastfeeding and now you’re going back to work, if you’re going to be bottle feeding, don’t wait until the last minute to introduce a bottle. There have been a lot of babies who have refused the bottle and just want the breast so for sure, you don’t have to give them a bottle every time, but I always say that at least once a week or so starting off a month prior to going back to work, start to introduce it if you haven’t already. Yes, definitely you need a plan because there is that separation anxiety too. You’ve just been home with your baby for 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 3 months, 6 months. You’ve been home taking care of your baby and now you have to pass him or her off to either a daycare provider or a family member or your husband. The husbands do a lot of stuff, but of course, as a mother, we just are that nurturing type and it’s like, “Okay. Are you going to take care of the baby as well as I do?” Meagan: Yeah. I wanted to micromanage my husband. I was like, “I know you’re going to do it great.” I kind of was that way with everyone. “I know you’re going to do a really good job, but you’re not me.” It’s so hard. Crystal: Exactly. It’s just different. It’s definitely hard. There is that separation anxiety so prepare mentally too. Like you said, open communication with whoever is going to be the caregiver while you are away for work whether it’s your partner, a family member, a friend, or a daycare provider, be open with them. “Hey, I am breastfeeding and bottle feeding. Paced bottle feeding. Can we talk about that? If you don’t know how to do it, I can send you a video on how to do it.” If they are starting solids, what kinds of foods? There are a lot of different things so you definitely need to come up with a plan. I think that the biggest thing is coming up with a plan and being flexible because you just never know what your baby is going to want to take. Meagan: I know. Crystal: I’ve heard of babies not even eating while they are away from their mom and then they are nursing all throughout the night and now moms are tired and they have to go to work tired. It is a lot so I mean, I think the few tips I have is to get prepared at least a month in advance and open communication with whoever the caregiver is going to be. Reach out for help. Meagan: And reach out for help. Absolutely. Women of Strength, it’s okay to reach out for help. It’s okay to feel like you need help. We don’t want you to have to feel like you need help. We want you to be prepared and feel confident along the way, but it’s more likely to need help than to not need help so know that if you do need help, you’re not alone. There are a ton of amazing resources that just want to do nothing but help you. Crystal: Yes, definitely. Meagan: Awesome. Well, thank you so much. We’ll definitely have to have you on again. I know that we have just brushed the surface. Crystal: Yes. No, I would love to be on here again. Thank you for having me. I love this platform. You guys give a great amount of information and resources and things like that, so thank you for having this platform. Meagan: Yes, thank you. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands