The Possibility of Forgiveness

For many religions and cultures, forgiveness is “the right thing to do.” But outside of moral judgements, why forgive? Frank Ostaseski, approaching forgiveness as a possibility, not an ethical imperative, speaks of forgiveness as “a practice of fierce self-compassion”. When we practice forgiveness, we touch deeply into our wounds of separation with mercy and love and this allows our past to dissolve. For Frank, “love is the lubricant that allows us to let go.” Freed from our past, our judgements, our recriminations, we meet the reality of our lives and bear gifts for the world – we become wounded healers. We are able to meet ourselves and others in our vulnerability. Forgiveness humanizes. Frank cautions us, however, that forgiveness doesn’t always give us what we want. Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. In fact, genuine forgiveness is free from desired outcome or hoping to change another. Instead, it is a path for our own liberation. So Frank asks us, “What gets in the way of forgiving?”